the all encompassing sense of hopelessness you feel when you realize that the guy calling you about your past-due student loan payment probably only has this job so he can pay his own student loans
EXACTLY. it’s honestly probably going to take me a while remove dumb/stupid/lame from my vocabulary but why not try?
- Gary: McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate!"
- J.J.: You mean, penis-in-vagina?
- Gary: No, dickhead - sex.
i am the most stressed out laziest person ever i don’t even know how i do it
- Funny Person: Hey, I sure am in this location right now.
- (Straight Person enters)
- Straight Person: Excuse me, Funny Person?
- Funny Person: Yes?
- Straight Person: What's the deal with this odd occurrence that's currently happening?
- Funny Person: Oh, that's just our wacky premise.
- Straight Person: Your what?
- Funny Person: Our wacky premise. It's because of this just-on-the-side-of-plausible justification.
- Straight Person: Wait, so you're doing this reasonable assumption?
- Funny Person: No, we're doing this humorous example.
- (Continue for about two more humorous examples of escalating silliness)
- Straight Person: What you're doing is wrong! I will now explain to you why this doesn't work in our reasonable society!
- Funny Person: Wow. You may be right. I guess I will stop with the wacky premise.
- (Secretary enters)
- Secretary: Hey, Funny Person? Something's happening that either reverses what we know or proves it to be worse than originally assumed.
- (Everyone smiles at audience. Play popular song from the 80s which glancingly references the premise. Wait for huge stacks of sketch cash as well as pussy and/or dick depending on your personal preference)
you ever feel happy for someone when they have a reason to feel better than you cause you know that’s like their favorite thing ever?