June 2013
the all encompassing sense of hopelessness you feel when you realize that the guy calling you about your past-due student loan payment probably only has this job so he can pay his own student loans
"i don’t know why calling something stupid is ableist, but i’ll believe it." Thank you for writing the smartest fucking thing anyone has ever written on the internet. Sometimes I don't understand why something is offensive or whatever but if there's a community saying they're offended then whooooo caaaaaaares.
EXACTLY. it’s honestly probably going to take me a while remove dumb/stupid/lame from my vocabulary but why not try?
Moonlight Sonata: sad-queer: non-ableist alternatives for insulting people or... →
finedineonmyvegangenitalia.tumblr.com
non-ableist alternatives for insulting people or things!
please do not say “lame”
- cruddy
- annoying
- disappointing
- lousy
- no good
- crummy
- rubbish
- junky
- rotten
- cheesy
- corny
- tacky
please do not say “dumb” or “stupid”
- illogical
- foolish
- silly
- nonsensical
- obtuse
i really never think about this but it’s important. i don’t know why calling something “stupid” is ableist, but i’ll believe it.
- Gary: McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate!"
- J.J.: You mean, penis-in-vagina?
- Gary: No, dickhead - sex.
i am the most stressed out laziest person ever i don’t even know how i do it
pppfff
Play
Free Sketch Comedy Template (good for all situations)
- Funny Person: Hey, I sure am in this location right now.
- (Straight Person enters)
- Straight Person: Excuse me, Funny Person?
- Funny Person: Yes?
- Straight Person: What's the deal with this odd occurrence that's currently happening?
- Funny Person: Oh, that's just our wacky premise.
- Straight Person: Your what?
- Funny Person: Our wacky premise. It's because of this just-on-the-side-of-plausible justification.
- Straight Person: Wait, so you're doing this reasonable assumption?
- Funny Person: No, we're doing this humorous example.
- (Continue for about two more humorous examples of escalating silliness)
- Straight Person: What you're doing is wrong! I will now explain to you why this doesn't work in our reasonable society!
- Funny Person: Wow. You may be right. I guess I will stop with the wacky premise.
- (Secretary enters)
- Secretary: Hey, Funny Person? Something's happening that either reverses what we know or proves it to be worse than originally assumed.
- (Everyone smiles at audience. Play popular song from the 80s which glancingly references the premise. Wait for huge stacks of sketch cash as well as pussy and/or dick depending on your personal preference)
you ever feel happy for someone when they have a reason to feel better than you cause you know that’s like their favorite thing ever?
FLATNESS somehow equals alarm
